19 June 2015
In order to have meaningful connections with others, we need to have a good connection to ourselves. I need to be willing to support myself, rather than sell myself out at the first hint of disapproval or disagreement. I need to be able to hold myself in love in order to hold someone else in love. I need to be able to help establish a bridge between two individuals, not morph myself into a clone.
Dr. Brené Brown’s book ‘The Gifts of Imperfection’ is a favorite of mine. In it she examines the connection between vulnerability and courage in a clear and compassionate way. Here’s one of her tips for digging into this:
Whenever I’m faced with a vulnerable situation, I get deliberate with my intentions by repeating this to myself: “Don’t shrink. Don’t puff up. Stand on your sacred ground.” I think there’s something deeply spiritual about standing your ground. Saying this little mantra helps me remember not to get small so other people are comfortable and not to throw up my armor as a way to protect myself.
When I find myself in a spot where I’m resorting to giving in or giving up to get along, I’m trying to take a breath, honor myself by examining what I truly think or feel and then honoring the other person by being as honest as I can.