24 July 2015

It is not selfish to love oneself.  A person can give so much to their friends that there is literally nothing left for them.  This is where lonely despair and exhaustion can enter in.  I know this despair, because when I wasn’t actively being friends with myself, I looked outward all the time to receive nourishment from my friends.  Then, if they were unavailable or busy, or we stopped being friends for some reason, it seemed that I had so much less.  

I was measuring how I felt on the inside by what I thought I wasn’t getting on the outside.  

This is very common.   

~ SARK, ‘Fabulous Friendship Festival’

This week gave me lots of opportunities to work on being a friend to myself. There was a challenging meeting with clients, a gathering with friends where my mind kept edging sideways into critical spaces, a day when every image of myself in a mirror discouraged me.

It’s amazing how sticky negative thoughts can be.  And how much validity I can place in them, not because they’re true, but on account of how repeatedly they’ve run through my head.  Usually they aren’t true.  And never are they the whole truth.

So, I worked on being a better friend to myself by teasing out those critical voices, supporting myself when I wished I’d done something differently, paying attention to my good qualities.  I feel better when I do this.  I can engage more fully.  And give and receive more whole-heartedly.

When we know and care for a fuller, truer picture of ourselves, we gift ourselves and the people around us and we are more able to live as the alive, generous and interesting people we are.

Quote and image from Daily Good

Beautify your inner dialogue. Beautify your inner world with love light and compassion. Life will be beautiful. 

~Amit Ray