29 January 2016
The sun shines not on us but in us. ~John Muir
It’s raining again, a gentle percussion on my skylights, a soft steady drip from the eaves. It reminds me of the power of small, simple actions. With small drops, the rain is filling the big 5 gallon bucket on my porch to overflowing.
My accomplishments provide me with satisfaction and pleasure, but when I leverage my self-worth on them, my bowl can both fill and empty capriciously. When I attach worthiness to a number on the scale, how much I get done, or how someone responds to me, I wind up running hard, feeling insufficient and empty.
It was a treat to come across Desiderata this week, like bumping into an old friend. I love the rhythm, the simple words slowly adding up to a full measure. We are all children of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars. Like the narcissus tossing fragrant white blooms in my yard without comparing themselves to peony or rose blossoms. Or the doe, legs tucked beneath her as she lays under the oak tree, chewing cud and watching the world with big, soft eyes. Or me, walking on earth while raindrops, tiny packages of life sustenance offered freely from the sky, fall on any face turned up to them.
Here, my bowl fills of its own accord. In this place, I connect to knowing that we are inextricably woven into the ineffable, each of us a thread of the miraculous mystery.
Another treat of the week is this poem by dear woman Jena Schwartz:
What If You Knew
What if you knew that everything was going to be okay, that something was in motion beyond your field of vision, beyond even the periphery of your knowing?
What if you knew that everything you want, everything you’ve been seeking, trying to figure out, missing, is right here, already whole in your hands, in your life?
What if taking in what is could satisfy your longing?
What if you could rest your frantic, racing, busy mind and rest your neglected, tired body, put your head down in someone’s lap to have your hair stroked, like a cat, or a child?
What if you didn’t need to understand how it works, but could enjoy the magic of how love shows itself in the most unexpected, simplest of gestures?
What if everything is just as it should be? What if nothing had to be better, bigger, different, or other?
What would you do then? Who would you be?